‘Twas the Night Before Christmas

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

Adapted from the original poem by Major Henry Livingston Jr. (1748-1828)

 

'Twas the night before Christmas, at MonsterCommerce

Not a telephone was ringing for tech support's worth;

The servers were monitored with the utmost of care,

In hopes that no downtime would hinder them there;

 

The clients were nestled, their checkouts' secure,

While visions of profits stirred their ardor;

And Google ^© had crawled them, and MSN ^© too,

AOL ^© and Ask Jeeves ^© and even Yahoo! ^© ;

 

When out in the parking lot arose a loud sound,

When we looked out the windows and began to bound;

Out the front doors and into the cold,

Our breath steams the night air as the scene did unfold,

 

The arc lights shined down on the new-fallen sleet,

Mixed with the mud and looking like s... sh... stuff

When, what to our bloodshotted eyes should appear,

But a tricked-out white sleigh, with a three-headed reindeer,

 

With a big purple driver, furry and thick,

We knew in a moment, this was NO St. Nick!

With short knobby legs and one big yellow eye,

It occurred to us then that we all knew this guy,

 

"Yo, my nizzles!" he smiled and shouted with glee,

He got down from the sleigh saying, "How do you be?"

Then he pulled out a humidor loaded with smokes,

And passed them around to the dolls and the blokes,

 

"Now, BILLING! Now, CUSTOM! Now, DESIGN and DEV!

On, SEO, SALES and ADMIN-big-heads!

To the TECH SUPPORT crew, and the sum of us all,

If we 'work-hard' and 'play-hard' we never will fall!"

 

The stump of his stogie he held in his maw,

And his breath was like fire, and monstrously raw;

His face and his body were one and the same,

We all recognized him though we don't know his name,

 

He sprang back in his ride, to his beast gave a shout,

And away he did fly in the sky, turned about,

But I heard him shout down from the seat of his hearse,

"Merry Christmas to all at MonsterCommerce!"