Six Month Mark
As of today, it has been six months since my son passed away. Nearly the entire day has gone by without me recognizing it's significance. I thought of him multiple times but in the same detached way as almost every other day. Most recently at work, I've posted a print-out of the following comic prominently at my desk. Though the character speaking is probably referring to a missed romantic love, his loneliness makes me think of how much I miss Lucas.
As you can tell by the slow molasses speed of the most recent posts, I've kind of been busy doing other things. I have not abandoned the relating of my life story, but I have lost momentum and it irritates me like a thorn. Rest assured that I have several half-written posts and notes that I've started over the last few months, but none in a form worth sharing yet.
My original and overly ambitious plan was to have it all finished by the end of October! I had been wanting to participate in NaNoWriMo through November, pumping out a "Great American Novel" --or at least a dozen thousand words worth of a decent try. Perhaps I'd spout just a big block of random text for my own amusement, but at least it would mine.
Work has been quite busy which is a double-edged sword. Sometimes, it's nice to be busy rather than not. Other times, I'd rather be morosely bored rather than stressed. I am excited by where I'm leading my career (reminding myself I am in charge of it) and by the work that I'm doing.
While letting my story slide to the back-burner, I've still been working hard on my other projects:
- I've improved some of the graphical and multimedia stuff on FergusonChristianChurch.org.
- The domain is finally live on ColorburstVideo.com.
- The Arconati News site moved from one host to another.
But mostly these have been back-end changes. I've drafted posts here about these and other things unrelated to my life story or Lucas. But I won't publish them until I've caught up with real-time on my biography, if that's even possible.
Anyhow. Thanks for the intermission and enjoy your night!
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2 comments:
Yo Jim,
I can't tell you that it gets easier, but like I said when I found out that Lucas had went back home, you KNOW where your son is. He is not gone forever but actually just waiting until you guys meet again. Sorry that I haven't communicated much, but there have been some trials that I've had to go through, but by His grace I am still around. I hope that the Father continues to bless you and your family. Stay in touch - Kevin Hill, your old pal from MC, jhillpsyde@lycos.com
Thanks Kevin! You've got mail. And thanks for the kind words. They do help. I fluctuate mood wise all over the map. But it's a day-by-day process. When I get really down, it's comforting to know that whatever plan the Lord has for me, this moment is written into it. I may not understand why, but I don't have to. I only have to TRUST.
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