Star Wars Holiday Special: Welcome to the Dark Side

It won't be the first time -- nor the last time -- that some poor unsuspecting Star Wars fan stumbles on the Holiday Special and with excited anticipation proceeds to watch it ... and a little piece of them dies.
UPDATE: It would appear that someone is powerful enough that they stopped this site from continuing to host/post this page concerning the good 'ole Holiday Special. Luckily I picked it up from the Google cache and will be posting what I can here on my site as soon as possible.

Child's Play Part II from 1UP.COM

Man, these kids are annoying, ... but in a way, they brought back some good nostalgia for these good old games. I especially smiled when I read the one kid..

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

Adapted from the original poem by Major Henry Livingston Jr. (1748-1828)

 

'Twas the night before Christmas, at MonsterCommerce

Not a telephone was ringing for tech support's worth;

The servers were monitored with the utmost of care,

In hopes that no downtime would hinder them there;

 

The clients were nestled, their checkouts' secure,

While visions of profits stirred their ardor;

And Google ^© had crawled them, and MSN ^© too,

AOL ^© and Ask Jeeves ^© and even Yahoo! ^© ;

 

When out in the parking lot arose a loud sound,

When we looked out the windows and began to bound;

Out the front doors and into the cold,

Our breath steams the night air as the scene did unfold,

 

The arc lights shined down on the new-fallen sleet,

Mixed with the mud and looking like s... sh... stuff

When, what to our bloodshotted eyes should appear,

But a tricked-out white sleigh, with a three-headed reindeer,

 

With a big purple driver, furry and thick,

We knew in a moment, this was NO St. Nick!

With short knobby legs and one big yellow eye,

It occurred to us then that we all knew this guy,

 

"Yo, my nizzles!" he smiled and shouted with glee,

He got down from the sleigh saying, "How do you be?"

Then he pulled out a humidor loaded with smokes,

And passed them around to the dolls and the blokes,

 

"Now, BILLING! Now, CUSTOM! Now, DESIGN and DEV!

On, SEO, SALES and ADMIN-big-heads!

To the TECH SUPPORT crew, and the sum of us all,

If we 'work-hard' and 'play-hard' we never will fall!"

 

The stump of his stogie he held in his maw,

And his breath was like fire, and monstrously raw;

His face and his body were one and the same,

We all recognized him though we don't know his name,

 

He sprang back in his ride, to his beast gave a shout,

And away he did fly in the sky, turned about,

But I heard him shout down from the seat of his hearse,

"Merry Christmas to all at MonsterCommerce!"

Flashback to September - Older Posts Updated

I noted the other day that September of 2004 was a busy month on this blog, especially for posts relating to the Star Wars DVD release. Archive: 09.2004 There were a few posts that I had started but didn't publish. More recently I went back and finished these entries. Included are my essays on the the Anti-Star Wars Movement as well as two quotes from instant message conversations that I had that week about the DVDs.

Jonathan Louis Arconati to be married!

I can't believe it, but my little brother is getting married. My baby brother is getting married to one of the grandest women I have ever met - Kelly Stumm. And about the whole fact of the matter I can think of only one thing to say.

About friggin' time!

Kelly & Jon seem to be perfect compliments to each other from my perspective. I realized the other night that I couldn't recall when it was that I first met Kelly. But she's been with Jon for years now and has slowly become part of the family. Now she really will be part of the family. My children will get an "Aunt Kelly" and they could not be happier.

Congratulations on your engagement, you two. We love you and God bless you!
[Take a look at this image gallery featuring Jon, Kelly and others]

Jon & Kelly's new house

My little brother Jon and his girlfriend Kelly bought a house over the past summer ('04). When Lisa & I moved into our new house earlier spring '04 Jon was there quite a lot and I'm afraid that I wasn't there quite as much as I'd wanted to when it was their turn to move. Regardless, I think they got quite a lot of work done with everybody else's help, and their house is really impressive. I'm going to probably be updating the images there as soon as I can get around to it.

I'm moving the link to this image gallery off of the Arconati home page soon to make room for a new announcement (coming soon!).

Nice titles

Here is a style option I want to use for a redesign some day. In the links on this JS / CSS feature, the "title" tag shows up as a special colored pop-up when you rollover the link. Nice titles

The Night Before Christmas At QU

This one was a pretty good blast from the past. One of my old buddies from college made this up in 1997, a year before they all graduated. I apologize to anyone who gets offended by the quoted poem, especially if they were mentioned in the poem. Anyone who wants me to take it down should say so, just email me.

I doubt many of you will even remember this, but turn back the clock to 1997.  This would have been the last Christmas we spent together at QU.  I was organizing my hard drive and organizing things like the Memories Lists, The Mental Tapper Newsletters, The "Evil" North Campus Newsletters, and a variety of other goofy stuff I have from our college days.  In any case, I came across a directory I didn't even knew existed and I found a poem I'd written December 5, 1997.  I believe I even read it at Dave's Christmas party that year, so some of you may remember it.

The Night Before Christmas At QU

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the dorm
Maintenance fucked up the heater, and no one was warm;
The place was ice-cold, and foggy with pot,
Despite the complaints, Amy didn’t do squat.

JB was drinking by his fireplace with haste,
And knowing JB, not a drop goes to waste.
Next to JB, sat a man who was flaccid,
Sure enough it was Gates, having fun droppin’ acid.

The Plaid Brothers were nestled all snug in each bed,
Chardy was giving Randy good head;
Schulzee was drinking, and making a pun,
He also decided to bang Angie for fun.

Outside the door, I thought it was mamma,
He wore his hair long and rode on a llama;
This guy was nothing, but a magnified cum-stain,
Yes, poor little Winget, strung out on Accutane.

When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,
Darren was eating and holding his bladder;
Away from the window he ran with a flash,
So no one would see him smoking his hash.

Gary was at North using toys on poor Mel,
Cock rings and dildos make him feel swell;
When what to his wondering eyes would appear,
But a fat, Chinese kid who we all thought was queer.

After the chink, followed a gaggle of queens,
One of them shouted, “I brought the beans!”
This odd little bunk, who had all but a sink,
Brought Oreos for Santa, and milk to drink!

Then entered the abominable snowman, covered with hair,
It was Jay, armed with a shovel and bullshit to spare;
Another one entered and the party guests shook,
But then we all realized this mass was named Book.

Then there it was, a pudgy guy in a sleigh,
I knew in a moment, I knew it was Dave;
As reindeer pulled it, he shouted with scorn,
And read through magazines, mostly all porn.

He read “Flasher” and “Lap Dancer” and “Prancer” and “Hot Vixen,”
And “Cum-it” and “Cupid” and “Dil-Donner” and “Clitzen;”
In front of the bathroom, Gary stood in the hall,
He pushed drunken Darren into a thermometer on the wall.

Schaefer was eating a 20 pound roast,
While Jonesy was chanting, “One piece of toast;”
A freak show was there and with Dave did she flirt,
She spoke of cheese sandwiches and a hair shirt.

Then armed with a knife, a man buttered the door,
First entered his girlfriend, a bitchy fat whore,
Buttering again, and assisted by Maul,
A fat man squeezed in, and we saw it was Paul!

And then in a twinkling we heard on the roof,
A dancing buffoon, a blundering goof;
A drunken old soul who we did believe,
To be our nutty pal, that goof we call Steve.

Farrby was mackin’, and slinging the lines,
No one would oblige him, except for the swines.
But then there was silence, except for some cryin’
Nobody knew, but some chick slapped Bryan.

The cryin’ was muted by the playing of spoons,
Then thumped some bass, and entered Doc Tunes!
He was bumpin’ and thumpin’ and calling Dave “Dawg”
Then out came the pen to write in the log.

Now back to Dave who was dressed in all fur,
He got really pissed at each stupid cur;
A bundle of porn on his back in a sack,
His housemate lit up a pipe full of crack.

Huber and Sarah talked over vermouth,
But Huber couldn’t handle the stench of that tooth;
Orrhe and Lisa both danced totally nude,
At Dave’s little party, they set the mood.

The egg nog got spiked by a jolly old fella,
All that we know, is he sported Gonnella;
I didn’t hear much, but I heard what I could,
I swear that the guy said “These Hi-Ho’s are good!”

Ed unexpectedly drank wine by the gallon,
All while being insulted, by a bitchy Italian.
Ed didn’t know, but he was taped in his room,
And Mama Luigi sounded off like a bassoon!

Fr. Eugene came in, followed by his chief,
We were amazed, when we saw that it was our Queef;
Klimczak emerged and then with a bow,
Introduced his new woman, a big old fat cow.

Beav sprang to his sleigh after spreading some cheer,
Everyone applauded and hoisted a beer;
As Beav flew away and out of the ‘hood,
Nat on the lawn shouted, “Christmas, Very Good.”

Lyrics and Music: Seventy-Six Trombones

♫ Lyrics and Music: Seventy-Six Trombones ♫

ALBUM: The Music Man

ARTIST: Meredith Willson

---

Seventy six trombones led the big parade,
With a hundred and ten cornets close at hand.
They were followed by rows and rows,
Of the finest virtuosos,
The cream of every famous band.

Seventy six trombones caught the morning sun,
With a hundred and ten cornets right behind.
There were over a thousand reeds,
Springing up like weeds,
There were horns of every shape and size.

There were copper bottom timpani in horse platoons,
Thundering, thundering, all along the way.
Double bell euphoniums and big bassoons,
Each bassoon having its big fat say.

There were fifty mounted canons in the battery,
Thundering, thundering, louder than before.
Clarinets of every size,
And trumpets who'd improvise
A full octave higher than the score!

Seventy six trombones hit the counterpoint,
While a hundred and ten cornets blazed away.
To the rhythm of Harch! Harch! Harch!
All the kids began to march,
And they're marching still right today!

Seventy six trombones led the big parade,
when the order to march rang out loud and clear.
Starting off with a big bang bong on a Chinese gong,
by a big bang bonger at the rear.

Seventy six trombones hit the counter point,
while a hundred and ten cornets played the air.
Then I modestly took my place as the one and only bass,
and I oompahed up and down the square.

---

These lyrics, this song and the attributed link are posted here for educational purposes and due to the fact that I happen to play Trombone and I like this song. If anyone is offended or objects to the use/posting of this copyrighted material, please contact me directly and I will remove this entry along with a personal note of apology.